hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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