Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
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If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
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Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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