there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
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she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
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When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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