sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize