is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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