is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
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The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
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My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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