I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize