gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
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I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
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Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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