Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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