naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
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Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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