so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
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