I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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