There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize