Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
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there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
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The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize