i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
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I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
you made out with another girl for some wings
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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