cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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