You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Come on in and take your pants off
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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