Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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