the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize