Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
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You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
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It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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