I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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