was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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