"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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