that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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