grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
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