it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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