Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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