So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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