He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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