3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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