my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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