Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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