her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We are two peas in an std pod
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize