I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize