Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
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I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
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Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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