the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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