I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize