Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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