hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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