sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
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Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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