she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
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She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
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I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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