well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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