I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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