i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
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