I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
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I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
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I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
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