so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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