I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize