Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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