Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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