i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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